Thursday, June 3, 2010

Letting Go

I finally went shopping and have clothes that fit and enough of them that I don't feel like I am wearing the same thing everyday :)

I needed to make room in my overstuffed closet to house these new items.  The problem then becomes my hoarding tendencies (Mom's voice in my head), my fear of change and not wanting to letting go of the past.  This kind of problem can be huge for me, because if I get "stuck" on something like this I know it adversely effects all other aspects of my life.

On Monday my mother-in-law, Patty, helped me sort through every item of clothing that I have accumulated in my adult life.  Close to 20 years of wardrobe that is now 8-12 sizes too big.  TRASH - GOODWILL - CONSIGN... three 'piles' that we carefully sorted into.  We ended up with 5 large trash bags for Goodwill, 4 large trash bags for the garbage man, and a small hall closet full of nicer items to be taken to the consignment shop.

Most people think this must be a thrilling process for me.  I think I might be crazy because it is really hard and even painful for me to release so much of my past (it feels like part of me) all at once.  I am forcing myself to do it though.  Even though it feels painful, I know it is good for me.  I could end up drowning in the physical accumulations of my life if I don't release it.  I have released the extra body fat and now I must release the clothes as well.  I must make room for the new me and the new clothes.  That means letting go of the baggage.  Letting go of all the "fat" clothes is really a metaphore for letting go of emotional baggage.

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